God's Perfect Plan

*This post is not meant to be sad or to make anyone feel sorry for us. It's meant to give God the glory for His perfect plan for our lives and how he uses trials in life to draw us to him.

2 years ago today our lives were turned upside down. We found out on September 18, 2006 that we were pregnant. We found out on October 3 that we lost our baby.

Many (most) of you know the story and know it was a NIGHTMARE for us.
We sat in the ER for hours...
when I was finally brought to a room the hospital lost power...
then they couldn't help me because the generators hadn't kicked on...
I went back for an ultrasound and they wouldn't let Matt go with me...
Without Matt being by my side, they tell me that I have an ectopic pregnancy and the baby wouldn't survive...
Meanwhile, the another ER doctor is outside the room telling Matt that if its ectopic, I might die...
Then they tell me they have to rush me to emergency surgery...

You get the idea...

I survived the surgery (obviously) and recovered well. It took longer for the emotional healing. But let me just tell you that I can't think of a time in my life when I felt closer to the Lord. I needed him so much to comfort me and give me hope. Matt and I were constantly in prayer that the Lord would heal our pain and that He would give us another baby.

As amazing as the Lord was through all of this, it's sad how in times of need, we run to the Lord and cling to him to help us with the BIG stuff, but in our everyday lives, when things are going good, we don't seem to lean on him as much. I constantly struggle with leaning on him just as much today, when times are good, as I did 2 years ago.

After 9 months of trying to conceive again, we found out in June 2007 that we were pregnant. We realized that this baby (Brody) was conceived about the time that the first baby was due in May. We thought that was neat :)

Had God allowed that first baby to continue to grow and survive inside me, our lives would look a lot different now. That baby would have been born before Matt graduated college, which means I wouldn't have been able to stay home with the baby for the first 7 months of it's life. To some, that may seem trivial, but it was very important to us. But there was no way that I could have quit my job at that time.

And I'm sure God had even more reasons for taking that child from us. Maybe just to humble us and get us on our knees before him. Whatever the reasons for His plan, they are perfect.

When our sweet Brody Boy was born in January, we were overjoyed, to say the least. And having been through this may have had some affect on the way we cared for him, especially as a newborn. We may have held him more than "the books" and other mothers say we should, spoiled him a little more, etc...but we are so grateful for this child and wanted to soak up every ounce of sweetness from him. Don't worry..we've definitely gotten better and he's not totally rotten.

This was meant to be an encouragement to the couples out there who are trying to conceive or who have been through something similar. The Lord truly knows what he's doing. He knows why He does the things He does. We could never try to figure His reasons out.

Psalm 121:1-2
I lift my eyes unto the hills,
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
The maker of Heaven and Earth.