Friday, October 3, 2008

God's Perfect Plan

*This post is not meant to be sad or to make anyone feel sorry for us. It's meant to give God the glory for His perfect plan for our lives and how he uses trials in life to draw us to him.

2 years ago today our lives were turned upside down. We found out on September 18, 2006 that we were pregnant. We found out on October 3 that we lost our baby.

Many (most) of you know the story and know it was a NIGHTMARE for us.
We sat in the ER for hours...
when I was finally brought to a room the hospital lost power...
then they couldn't help me because the generators hadn't kicked on...
I went back for an ultrasound and they wouldn't let Matt go with me...
Without Matt being by my side, they tell me that I have an ectopic pregnancy and the baby wouldn't survive...
Meanwhile, the another ER doctor is outside the room telling Matt that if its ectopic, I might die...
Then they tell me they have to rush me to emergency surgery...

You get the idea...

I survived the surgery (obviously) and recovered well. It took longer for the emotional healing. But let me just tell you that I can't think of a time in my life when I felt closer to the Lord. I needed him so much to comfort me and give me hope. Matt and I were constantly in prayer that the Lord would heal our pain and that He would give us another baby.

As amazing as the Lord was through all of this, it's sad how in times of need, we run to the Lord and cling to him to help us with the BIG stuff, but in our everyday lives, when things are going good, we don't seem to lean on him as much. I constantly struggle with leaning on him just as much today, when times are good, as I did 2 years ago.

After 9 months of trying to conceive again, we found out in June 2007 that we were pregnant. We realized that this baby (Brody) was conceived about the time that the first baby was due in May. We thought that was neat :)

Had God allowed that first baby to continue to grow and survive inside me, our lives would look a lot different now. That baby would have been born before Matt graduated college, which means I wouldn't have been able to stay home with the baby for the first 7 months of it's life. To some, that may seem trivial, but it was very important to us. But there was no way that I could have quit my job at that time.

And I'm sure God had even more reasons for taking that child from us. Maybe just to humble us and get us on our knees before him. Whatever the reasons for His plan, they are perfect.

When our sweet Brody Boy was born in January, we were overjoyed, to say the least. And having been through this may have had some affect on the way we cared for him, especially as a newborn. We may have held him more than "the books" and other mothers say we should, spoiled him a little more, etc...but we are so grateful for this child and wanted to soak up every ounce of sweetness from him. Don't worry..we've definitely gotten better and he's not totally rotten.

This was meant to be an encouragement to the couples out there who are trying to conceive or who have been through something similar. The Lord truly knows what he's doing. He knows why He does the things He does. We could never try to figure His reasons out.

Psalm 121:1-2
I lift my eyes unto the hills,
Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,
The maker of Heaven and Earth.


  1. Thank you so much for posting is such an encouragement and I know now more than ever that there is reasons why we haven't had our miracle yet but know that when it is His time it will happen. I have struggled with some jealousy of others although I was so happy for them, I always wondered why we couldn't have our blessing yet, I struggled with not understanding and all sorts of other emotions and while I have never lost a baby, I still have gotten sad for the one I love so much and have never met. But I have grown so much in Him and have come to realize that we are blessed beyond measure and I am so thankful for what we have and what is to come and it has drawn me closer to Him while I do struggle I still lean on Him so much and this blog is such an encouragment! I prayed for you guys so much during that hard time and was so excited when you found out you were pregnant and I just love that little man so much and think you are wonderful parents! I love you so much Larra, thanks for this!

  2. God is SO,SO good!! You did have ALOT of prayers going up at that time and God is ALWAYS faithful. I am so happy for yall and your sweet little brody. He is adorable:) Sorry we missed shelly's wedding, I hated to! It is a long story, you can read about it on my blog. Hope to meet your little brody sometime in the near future!

  3. Its so hard in the midst of a trial to see past circumstances and look to Him. But, that is when He grows us the most. And you my friend, grew and grew and grew.

    You are a precious wife and mommy. Praise God for your heart of thankfulness.

    Thanks for sharing your story of hope. I pray it encourages others just as I was encouraged.

    Love you!


Thanks for leaving us a note! We love hearing from you!